Re: I'm so sorry. So very sorry.
Message written byKen
October 04, 2006 at 10:10:16:
In Reply to
Re: I'm so sorry. So very sorry.
posted by Michele
October 03, 2006 at 12:00:22:
Trust me when I relay to you that Forgivness is one of the main qualities on the Other Side that embraces the Spiritual Beings soul. If its forgivness your seeking, then its done. But forgiving yourself is the most important issue here even if you have nothing to be forgiven for.
Its very normal to lose ones patience while being a caregiver, as caregiving can be an extremely stressful situation. Thats why we have respite at our Hospice Home to give Caregivers a break from the everyday stressful routine. Being a Caregiver, especially to our own family can become very, very overwhelming. These holes that your speaking of in your Heart shall get smaller with time. But by NO means should you ever allow that hole to completely close, because if you do that then you really have problems. Remember, theres nothing at all to be sorry for, and your not a failure.
Take care, and may the prayers of Angels be found dancing within your soul.
Reaching For Joy
P.S.- Thank you for your kind words about the gift of Reaching For Joys website.
: Thank you Ken for your kind words. Your site is very comforting. I still have these "holes" in my heart and thought process that keep bringing me back to what I could have done better. But, I also remember when that at the time I lost my patience or whatever I always had an immediate thought of "you must correct this because you will be sorry when they are gone". I just hope I conveyed to them in thought or action that I was trying as hard as I could. I wish I could get an ADC from them where they tell me it is O.K. and all is forgotten and forgiven. I have felt and tell them all the time that I have forgiven them for anything they think they might have done wrong to me and I really mean it! It would be nice to be at peace knowing the feeling is mutual.
: Take care and thanks again,
: : : Both my parents died this year, five months apart. We were always a team and now I have no team. My greatest regret is that in the last few months, weeks, of their lives I didn't try to talk to them about death and help to make their passing easier. I am praying that they were not sorrowful, that they were not hurting or scared because I didn't talk to them and try to ease their fears. I took care of their physical needs and was there when they both passed. Although my father just went unconscious and my mother took days to pass but was basically unable to communicate. I tried to communicate to her and hope she heard me. But, I just don't know. I wasn't the best daughter but I tried very hard. I feel at the end I failed them somehow because I just didn't have the patience, compassion or whatever necessary to make them know how much I love them and how sorry I am for anything I did that might have made their time on earth unpleasant or unhappy. I'd give anything to have them back and do this life over again. It would be so much better for them.
: : Hey Michele
: : Just as my parents and I are still a team, so are you and your parents. My parents crossed over 20 and 14 years ago, and we have been a team ever since, and forever will be. As for talking with your parents about crossing over, Im sure that they knew where their destiny was taking them to. Just as you where with them, they were with you, and ARE STILL WITH YOU. They are extremely proud of you, as you are of them.
: : With many of my Hospice patients that are in transition, the greatest gift to them is just having someone by their side, or in their soul. The greatest teacher in many cases, is the best listener. Take care, and remember that you DIDNT fail them at all. If anything, you were the gift that they needed to make their transition much more peaceful, for you were the gift of love.
: : Thank you for stopping by at Reaching For Joy and sharing your very special thoughts.
: : Reaching For Joy
: : Ken